Tornado season is upon us again, so here is a glossary of
tornado terms you may want to familiarize yourself with:
A rather soft-spoken, mild-mannered type person until severe weather strikes, and they start yelling at you through the t.v.: "GET TO YOUR BATHROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do.
What you have to give any dog or cat, who lived through a previous tornado, every time it storms, or they tear your whole house up freaking out.
A favorite gathering place for tornadoes. They like to meet there and do a little partying before stretching out across the rest of the Midwest
Best place to seek shelter in the middle of a tornado, mostly because after you're covered with debris, you can quickly wash off and come out looking great!
A handy device that sends out messages from the National Weather Service during a storm, though quite disconcerting because the high pitched, shrill noise it uses as an alarm sounds suspiciously just like a tornado.
A system the city spent millions to install, which is really useful, unless there's a storm or a tornado.
A great place to go during a tornado, as it is almost 100% safe, though weigh your options carefully, as most are not cared for and are homes to rats and snakes.
Tourist season, when people who are tired of bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end as Storm Chasers.
Nobody really knows what this is, but when it drops a lot of pregnant women go into labor, which makes for exciting moments as their husbands are trying to drive them to the hospital while dodging tornadoes.
The worst place on earth to be during a tornado, ( except for mobile home ). Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car... Unless your towing a moblie home.
Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20 ton truck and up root a three hundred year old tree, I'd bet my life on out- running it in a car.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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