True To Life Facts About Women
"Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in the language of woman
than it does in the language of a man.
Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond
to the direction that they are heading.
All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them
about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring
this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop,
you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did
Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the
Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to
be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with
those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to
sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting
a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it
impossible for the lid to stay up... thus it constantly gets
peed on by the guys (which only gets them in more trouble).
Women never check to see if the toilet lid is up. They seem to prefer
taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men
out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two
seconds and lowering it themselves.
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting or crying. This will
get men arrested, or a ticket.
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy,
despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling
over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then
they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women.
Also, men can never catch women checking out other men; but women will
always catch men checking out other women.
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another
woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't
hear men say, "Oh-No, there's another man wearing a black
tux, get me outta here.
[ Author Unknown -- from andychaps_the-funnies ]
All Rights Reserved.