Butterball Turkey Talk-Line
Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their
share of memorable calls -- inquiries that stand out from the crowd because
they're heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff
members to tell us their favorites plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own
personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. It's hard to beat the call from
a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his
truck ("Will it cook faster if I drive faster?"), but some of these come pretty
close. Warning: do not attempt to adjust your screen -- these are real
incidents, true stories -- from the front lines!
Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the doghouse when she called the
Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. While preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua
jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out. She tried pulling the
dog and shaking the bird, but nothing worked. She and the dog became more
and more distraught. After calming the woman down, the Talk-Line home
economist suggested carefully cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey
wider. It worked and Fido was freed!
Birdie, eagle and turkey? Roasting a turkey doesn't have to interfere
with the daily routine, so said a retired Floridian. He called "Turkey Central"
for turkey grilling tips while waiting to tee off from the 14th hole.
Taking turkey preparation an extra step, a Virginian wondered, "How do
you thaw a fresh turkey?" The Talk-Line staffer explained that fresh turkeys
aren't frozen and don't need to be thawed.
Don't wait until the last minute! On Thanksgiving Day, a Georgian woman took
the "Be prepared" motto to heart. She had just agreed to host
Thanksgiving Dinner and called the Talk-Line a year ahead of time for turkey tips.
Happy Thanksgiving, President Obama! A Southern woman called to comment,
"On Thanksgiving Day, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line is more important than
the President. He can take the day off, but the Talk- Line staff can't."
(The Butterball Turkey Talk-Line is open Thanksgiving Day, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m.,
Central Standard Time.)
Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving
without turkey. A restaurant owner in California wanted to know how to
roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.
White meat, anyone? A West Coast woman took turkey preparation to
extremes by scrubbing her bird with bleach. Afterward, she called the Talk-Line to
find out how to clean off the bleach. To her dismay, she was advised to dispose
of the turkey.
A young girl called on behalf of her mother who needed roasting advice. To
provide approximate roasting times, the home economist asked what size
the turkey was. Without asking her mother the little girl paused, then
A novice turkey-cooking chef wanted to know if the yellow netting and
wrapper around the turkey should be removed before roasting. Envisioning a
melted plastic turkey blob, the home economist responded, "Yes," then offered
complete roasting directions.
Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to find out how
long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line
home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded, "I
don't know, it's still running around outside."
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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