Universal Laws of Golf

  1. Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever.

  2. Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.

  3. Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play.

  4. Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.

  5. Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

  6. Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?

  7. Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

  8. A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and a tax agent -- or some similar combination.

  9. All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

  10. A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Colorado Comments' ]


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