Wal-Mart vs. Heaven

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.
  1. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates.
    Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors.

  2. Heaven: Eternal.
    Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours.

  3. Heaven: Where old people go when they expire.
    Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire.

  4. Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God.
    Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone.

  5. Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God.
    Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers.

  6. Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin.
    Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint.

  7. Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully.
    Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices.

  8. Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!
    Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]

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