Ways To Survive A Dull Sermon

(Not necessary if you are in a red hot Apostolic Church)

• Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests
  
  
• See if a yawn really is contagious
  
  
• Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the minister.
  
  
• Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs
  
  
• Listen for the speakers to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.
  
  
• Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
  
  
• Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
  
  
• Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.
  
  
• Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
  
  
• Unobtrusively draw your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt inside out.
  
  
• Try to raise one eyebrow.
  
  
• Think about your chin for an entire minute.
  
  
• Twiddle your thumbs.
  
  
• Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Colorado Comments' ]