Ways To Survive A Dull Sermon
(Not necessary if you are in a red hot Apostolic Church)
- Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests
- See if a yawn really is contagious
- Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not,
raise your hand and tell the minister.
- Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs
- Listen for the speakers to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B
and so on through the alphabet.
- Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews
ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points
for every marble that made it to the front.
- Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials,
design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
- Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.
- Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on
your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
- Unobtrusively draw your arms up into your sleeves, turn your
shirt inside out.
- Try to raise one eyebrow.
- Think about your chin for an entire minute.
- Twiddle your thumbs.
- Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Colorado Comments' ]
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