What He Says - What He Means

• "I'm going fishing."
  Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
  
  
• "It's a guy thing."
  Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
  
  
• "Can I help with dinner?"
  Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
  
  
• "Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear."
  Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
  
  
• "It would take too long to explain."
  Really means: "I have no idea how it works."
  
  
• "We're going to be late."
  Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
  
  
• "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
  Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
  
  
• "That's interesting, dear."
  Really means: "Are you still talking?"
  
  
• "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
  Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
  
  
• "I can't find it."
  Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
  
  
• "You know I could never love anyone else."
  Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
  
  
• "You look terrific."
  Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
  
  
• "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
  Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
  

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Pastor Tim' (posts@cybersaltlists.org) ]