Who's Afraid Of A Little Garden Snake?
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife brought them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. However, unknown to her, a little green grass snake was hiding in one of the plants. When it warmed up, it slithered out of the plants and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a loud scream.
Her husband, having just finished his shower, ran into the living room wearing only his underwear, to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. So, he got down on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came into the room and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife, seeing him motionless on the floor, thought he might of had a heart attack, so she called for an ambulance. Soon, the ambulance attendants rushed in, loaded him on a stretcher, and started carrying him out.
Just then the snake came out from under the sofa. One ambulance attendant saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher just as they started down the porch stairs, causing the husband to tumble to the ground, which broke his leg. Now he really did need to go to the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of trying to capture the snake, so she called her next door neighbor, who volunteered to come over and help capture the snake. He grabbed a nearby rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the sofa.
When he didn't find the snake, he told the woman he thought it must have gotten out of the house. The woman gave a sigh of relief, and sat down on the sofa to relax. While relaxing, she let her hand dangle in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wiggling around. Now totally freaked-out, the woman screamed and then fainted on the floor. Since she didn't appear to be breathing, the neighbor started giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to revive her.
About then the neighbor's wife, who heard the scream, came running over to see what happened. Seeing her husband on top of the lady, and not knowing why he had his mouth on her lips, she hit him in the head with a bottle on the table, knocking him out and lacerating his scalp.
The noise woke the woman from her faint, and she saw the neighbor man lying on the floor with his wife bending over him. Seeing blood coming from his scalp, and not having any alcohol, she went into the kitchen, and poured some whiskey over a dish towel. She then returned to clean the bleeding scalp wound on the neighbor man's head, with the whisky soaked dish towel.
Other neighbors, hearing all the commotion, had called the police. When the police arrived and saw the unconscious man on the floor, and smelled the whiskey, they assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest everyone. The first women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police then called for another ambulance, which took the injured neighbor and his sobbing wife to hospital.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the sofa. Seeing the snake, one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. It fell over, which caused the lamp to shatter, and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames with a throw rug, but tripped over the family dog, who jumped up and ran out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid hitting the dog and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the curtain fire spread to the walls and now the entire house was ablaze.
Other neighbors called the fire department. The fire fighters arrived, and while trying to work around some trees got the ladder-truck extension caught on some overhead power wires, knocking out electricity for a ten city block area.
Time passed . . . both men recovered and were discharged from the hospital, electric power had been restored, the house was re-built, the police got a new patrol car, and all was back to normal in the world . . . .
About a year later the same couple was watching TV. The weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. So, the wife turned to her husband and asked if he thought they should bring in their plants for the evening?
Without saying a word, the husband got up out of his recliner chair, went straight into the bedroom, slammed the door shut, and went to sleep.