Why Woman Are Cranky
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old, only to find
anything that comes in contact with those tender blooming buds hurts so
bad it brings us to tears.
Enter the almighty, uncomfortable, training bra contraption the boys in
school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along
with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone
crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage is marriage and having sex for the first time
which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your
nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live
with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards
night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's baby. Our
once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we
pee in our pants every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will
invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with
our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's
huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming,
Mrs. In-Labor. Calm down and push. Just one more (10 more) good push,"
warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the nurse and "husbsnd
coach" square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed,
10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels, only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more?
Now we hit the grand finale "The Menopause," the Grand-mother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a
hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily, and bite the head
off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get
off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake, Being able to pee in the
woods without soaking their socks?
I love being a woman (call me crazy) but "Womanhood" would make the
Great Gandhi more spiteful!!!
And they say women are the "weaker sex." HA!
[ Author Unknown -- from 'andychaps_the_funnnies' (firstname.lastname@example.org) ]
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