You Know You're Getting Older When...

You Know You're Getting Older When...

• Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
  
  
• The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
  
  
• You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
  
  
• Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
  
  
• Your children begin to look middle aged.
  
  
• You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
  
  
• Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.
  
  
• You look forward to a dull evening.
  
  
• Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 years ago today."
  
  
• You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
  
  
• You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  
  
• Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
  
  
• You regret all those mistakes you made resisting temptation.
  
  
• You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106 around the golf course.
  
  
• Your back goes out more than you do.
  
  
• A fortune teller offers to read your face.
  
  
• Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
  
  
• The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
  
  
• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
  
  
• You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
  
  
• You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from John Traver ]