You Know You're Getting Older When...

You Know You're Getting Older When...

  • Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

  • The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

  • You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.

  • Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

  • Your children begin to look middle aged.

  • You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

  • Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.

  • You look forward to a dull evening.

  • Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 years ago today."

  • You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

  • Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

  • You regret all those mistakes you made resisting temptation.

  • You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106 around the golf course.

  • Your back goes out more than you do.

  • A fortune teller offers to read your face.

  • Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.

  • The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

  • You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

  • You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.

[ Author Unknown -- from John Traver ]


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