You Might be a Preacher
You Might be a Preacher if....
Does any or all this seem very familiar to you?
- You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover
you really were.
- You've ever wondered why people couldn't die at more appropriate
- You're leading the church into the 21st century, but you don't know
what you're preaching on Sunday.
- A church picnic is no picnic -- for you.
- You've ever spoken for free and were worth every penny.
- You said it's Sunday, but Monday's coming!
- You wonder why the tax seminar leader didn't open with prayer.
- Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
- You've ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
- You'd rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye
- You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck or punch out a
- You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.
- You ever talked to a person who was sitting on a bedpan.
- You find yourself counting people at a sports event.
- You received an anonymous U-Haul gift certificate.
- Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
- You've ever stretched the truth (lied) at a funeral.
- You always read the obituaries (with hopefulness).
- You've ever had an anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia
- You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it
- You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."
- The ideas you bounce-off board members really do.
- Your car tires are balding faster than your head.
- You wish someone would steal some of the sheep in your flock.
- You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a
Church Soft Ball Game.
- Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
- You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church building.
- The "Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one and the same to
[ Author Unknown -- from 'jo-jokers' and 'The Funnies' ]
All Rights Reserved.