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For Moms -- 365 Tips
Mom's Tip #002: Make real cocoa. Mom's Tip #003: Hang their drawings on the fridge. Mom's Tip #004: Say the clay ashtray is what you always wanted. Mom's Tip #005: Sing silly songs. Mom's Tip #006: Make goofy faces. Mom's Tip #007: Let them take off the training wheels. Mom's Tip #008: Remind the Tooth Fairy about inflation. Mom's Tip #009: Buy a good stain remover. Mom's Tip #010: Let them keep the kitten. Mom's Tip #011: Remember when YOU misbehaved. Mom's Tip #012: If you don't know, say so. Mom's Tip #013: Let grandma spoil them. Mom's Tip #014: Let them stay up just a little bit longer. Mom's Tip #015: Lock up the good china. Mom's Tip #016: Tickle. Mom's Tip #017: Be a good sport. Mom's Tip #018: Be a good friend. Mom's Tip #019: Smile when your mother-in-law gives you advice. Mom's Tip #020: ALL mothers are working mothers. Mom's Tip #021: Ultimatums don't work. Mom's Tip #022: Bribes work. Mom's Tip #023: Hysteria will get you nowhere. Mom's Tip #024: Their first summer at camp is murder. Mom's Tip #025: Let them lick the spoon. Mom's Tip #026: Learn lots of lullabies. Mom's Tip #027: Breast feeding in public goes over better in Europe. Mom's Tip #028: Learn to handle sleep deprivation. Mom's Tip #029: Have an answer ready for "Where do babies come from?" Mom's Tip #030: Don't flinch when they grow taller than you. Mom's Tip #031: Going to college don't mean they won't come back. Mom's Tip #032: Don't teach them to parallel park. Mom's Tip #033: Be consistent. Mom's Tip #034: Think quick. Mom's Tip #035: Improvise. Mom's Tip #036: Sympathize. Mom's Tip #037: Remember: It's just a phase. Mom's Tip #038: "Wait till your father gets home" is a cop-out. Mom's Tip #039: "Because I said so" is a good reason. Mom's Tip #040: Never tell them how much they'll inherit. Mom's Tip #041: Teach them four precious words: "We can't afford it." Mom's Tip #042: Carry Wash'n Dry.. Mom's Tip #043: Smile when you change that diaper. Mom's Tip #044: It's absolutely okay to say "No". Mom's Tip #045: Buy chunky peanut butter in jumbo jars. Mom's Tip #046: Run a credit line at the toy store. Mom's Tip #047: Forget suede. Mom's Tip #048: Teachers ARE underpaid. Mom's Tip #049: Learn the rules of football. Mom's Tip #050: Teach them to write thank you notes. Mom's Tip #051: Your teenage daughter WILL find you embarrassing. Mom's Tip #052: Cheese food is not cheese. Mom's Tip #053: Thirteen is too late to put them up for adoption. Mom's Tip #054: Potty training builds character (yours). Mom's Tip #055: Sibling rivalry builds character (theirs). Mom's Tip #056: Worry, worry, worry. Mom's Tip #057: Childbirth is not for wimps. Mom's Tip #058: Stretch marks are a badge of honor. Mom's Tip #059: Half your brain leaves with the placenta. Mom's Tip #060: Donate pre-pregnancy jeans to charity. Mom's Tip #061: Don't read the label on baby formula. Mom's Tip #062: With luck, they'll call you once a week when they leave. Mom's Tip #063: With luck, they won't call collect. Mom's Tip #064: With luck, they'll pay for their own therapy when grown. Mom's Tip #065: No matter what, they'll always be your babies. Mom's Tip #066: The older they get, the wiser you'll seem. Mom's Tip #067: Just when you've got them figured out, they change. Mom's Tip #068: Kiss it an make it better. Mom's Tip #069: Make ice cube popsicles. Mom's Tip #070: If you promised, do it. Mom's Tip #071: Watch what you promise. Mom's Tip #072: When in doubt, say "We'll see." Mom's Tip #073: Bunk beds are cool. Mom's Tip #074: You'll sometimes act just like YOUR mother. Mom's Tip #075: Buy Perma-press. Mom's Tip #076: Use the honor system. Mom's Tip #077: You can only shoot so much videotape. Mom's Tip #078: Pose good questions. Mom's Tip #079: Colic happens. Mom's Tip #080: Cowlicks happen. Mom's Tip #081: Look what being a martyr got Joan of Arc. Mom's Tip #082: A dishwasher is not a luxury. Mom's Tip #083: The new math is harder than the old math. Mom's Tip #084: Let's hear it for leftovers. Mom's Tip #085: Don't leave their teddy bear behind. Mom's Tip #086: Learn to make daisy chains. Mom's Tip #087: Not everyone can be a valedictorian. Mom's Tip #088: They're never too old to scold. Mom's Tip #089: They're never too big to hug. Mom's Tip #090: They're never too smart to receive some good advice. Mom's Tip #091: They're never too rich to take home your leftovers. Mom's Tip #092: Don't remind your grown son you changed his diapers. Mom's Tip #093: If they grow up to be doctors, take the credit. Mom's Tip #094: If they grow up to be lawyers, don't take the blame. Mom's Tip #095: If they become pro-athletes, take the house and car. Mom's Tip #096: If they become politicians they were switched at birth. Mom's Tip #097: Don't teach the kids your fear of bugs. Mom's Tip #098: Take them to a petting zoo. Mom's Tip #099: Don't use a pediatrician who isn't a parent. Mom's Tip #100: You can never have too many Kleenex. Mom's Tip #101: Reserve the New Year's Eve babysitter on January 2. Mom's Tip #102: You can blame just about anything on teething. Mom's Tip #103: Some of the great minds of our time were bed wetters. Mom's Tip #104: Let someone else break the news about Santa Claus. Mom's Tip #105: Not everyone can win the Pillsbury Bake-Off. Mom's Tip #106: Iodine really DOES sting. Mom's Tip #107: Mother's Day comes but once a year -- milk it. Mom's Tip #108: Adjust allowances for cost of living. Mom's Tip #109: Cookie dough is better than cookies. Mom's Tip #110: Don't let the kids forget Father's Day. Mom's Tip #111: Tie their mittens together. Mom's Tip #112: When they say they've got to go, stop! Mom's Tip #113: An unmade bed is easier to get into. Mom's Tip #114: Prove there's no monster under the bed. Mom's Tip #115: Hugs are the antidotes to nightmares. Mom's Tip #116: Don't put their favorite blankie in the wash. Mom's Tip #117: Disney World is not optional. Mom's Tip #118: A little fast food never killed anyone. Mom's Tip #119: They already know more about computers than you do. Mom's Tip #120: Even George Bush didn't eat his broccoli. Mom's Tip #121: Teach the kids to recycle. Mom's Tip #122: Someday your son will love another woman. Mom's Tip #123: When they leave home, you'll actually miss them. Mom's Tip #124: Whatever your age, you're too young to be a grandma. Mom's Tip #125: The more they tease you, the more you're loved. Mom's Tip #126: Always make their favorite dish when they visit. Mom's Tip #127: Believe it or not, SATs aren't everything. Mom's Tip #128: Yes, it's important they wear what their friends wear. Mom's Tip #129: Teenagers are SUPPOSED to dress goofy. Mom's Tip #130: Yes, we're all tired of dinosaurs. Mom's Tip #131: Anyone can make a secret special sauce. Mom's Tip #132: Buy them a globe. Mom's Tip #133: Socks and underwear are not gifts. Mom's Tip #134: Ear thermometers beat rectal any day. Mom's Tip #135: Hide old toys and reintroduce them next week. Mom's Tip #136: Bribe the babysitter with Hagen-Dazs. Mom's Tip #137: No matter what, your son will wind up with a toy gun. Mom's Tip #138: No matter what, your daughter will want Barbie. Mom's Tip #139: No matter what, you will memorize GOOD NIGHT MOON. Mom's Tip #140: Puberty was hell for you too. Mom's Tip #141: They'll always bring home their laundry. Mom's Tip #142: Courage. Mom's Tip #143: Grace doesn't count unless it's under pressure. Mom's Tip #144: Many geniuses were late bloomers. Mom's Tip #145: When you retire, feel free to spend their inheritance. Mom's Tip #146: Hold their hands during vaccinations. Mom's Tip #147: Look encouraging at the dentist. Mom's Tip #148: Don't give your son a crew cut. Mom's Tip #149: "Bambi" is too scary for five-year olds. Mom's Tip #150: Froot Loops are NOT a balanced meal. Mom's Tip #151: Yes, they need all sixty-four Crayolas. Mom's Tip #152: No, they can't have a pony. Mom's Tip #153: Chicken soup couldn't hurt. Mom's Tip #154: Keep the cookie jar full. Mom's Tip #155: Tuck them in. Mom's Tip #156: Add sound effects to the bedtime story. Mom's Tip #157: No, they REALLY can't have a pony. Mom's Tip #158: Gingerbread houses aren't worth the work. Mom's Tip #159: Tollhouse cookies ARE worth the work. Mom's Tip #160: Put plenty of icing on birthday cakes. Mom's Tip #161: Don't tell you helped blow out the candles. Mom's Tip #162: Kids give more gifts than they'll receive. Mom's Tip #163: Kids WILL drink straight from the carton. Mom's Tip #164: Look sad when the snowman melts. Mom's Tip #165: Kids prefer hot dogs to duck a l'orange. Mom's Tip #166: A sense of humor is a necessity. Mom's Tip #167: They don't call it women's intuition for nothing. Mom's Tip #168: Insist on short-haired dogs. Mom's Tip #169: Coax the cat out of the tree. Mom's Tip #170: For the last time, a pony is out! Mom's Tip #171: Sew name tags in their underwear. Mom's Tip #172: Be a den mother. Mom's Tip #173: Let your daughter have a training bra. Mom's Tip #174: Buy your share of EXPENSIVE Girl Scout cookies Mom's Tip #175: Cultivate the art of napping. Mom's Tip #176: Washable markers aren't. Mom's Tip #177: Help build a sand-castle. Mom's Tip #178: Let them make a fort out of boxes. Mom's Tip #179: Piano lessons aren't for everyone. Mom's Tip #180: Tell Dad to share the toy trains. Mom's Tip #181: Tell your daughter she CAN be a fire fighter. Mom's Tip #182: Host a slumber party. Mom's Tip #183: Don't hover. Mom's Tip #184: Childhood doesn't go as fast as they say. Mom's Tip #185: Don't make your twelve-year-old shop for underwear. Mom's Tip #186: Take snapshots on the first day of school. Mom's Tip #187: Help carve a pumpkin. Mom's Tip #188: Sail paper airplanes. Mom's Tip #189: Teach them to whistle. Mom's Tip #190: Volunteer for class trips. Mom's Tip #191: Join the PTA. Mom's Tip #192: Don't panic. Mom's Tip #193: Hunt for four-leaf clovers. Mom's Tip #194: Befriend other mothers. Mom's Tip #195: Don't let kids record answering machine messages. Mom's Tip #196: Scotchguard everything. Mom's Tip #197: There's a little Martha Stewart in all of us. Mom's Tip #198: Never use the check-out with the candy display. Mom's Tip #199: All car trip diversions last three minutes. Mom's Tip #200: Snowsuits induce the desire to go to the bathroom. Mom's Tip #201: Let them eat Oreos inside-out. Mom's Tip #202: Be ready when kids ask "What were the Beatles?". Mom's Tip #203: You did SO do that at their ages. Mom's Tip #204: The more solemn the moment, the louder they cry. Mom's Tip #205: Kids get dirty quicker on more important occasions. Mom's Tip #206: Don't take kids grocery shopping on empty stomachs. Mom's Tip #207: Forget your moral objections to pacifiers. Mom's Tip #208: Forbidden junk food will be eaten at neighbor's house. Mom's Tip #209: Prohibited TV shows will be watched at neighbor's home. Mom's Tip #210: Tell know-it-alls: Mind your own business. Mom's Tip #211: Put a lock on your bedroom door. Mom's Tip #212: Trust your instincts. Mom's Tip #213: Occasionally you WILL use the TV as a babysitter. Mom's Tip #214: If they won't clean their plates, use smaller plates. Mom's Tip #215: Pack school lunches with good trading items. Mom's Tip #216: There's a lot of wisdom in MAD magazine. Mom's Tip #217: Don't flush the fish. Mom's Tip #218: Let them eat cake. Mom's Tip #219: Let them eat animal crackers. Mom's Tip #220: Keep smiling. Mom's Tip #221: There's no escaping car pools. Mom's Tip #222: Yes, they'll need braces. Mom's Tip #223: Yes, they'll need stitches. Mom's Tip #224: Guilt is an art form. Mom's Tip #225: Curfews are made to be broken. Mom's Tip #226: Dry their tears. Mom's Tip #227: Play Name the State Capitals. Mom's Tip #228: Teach them to read maps. Mom's Tip #229: Do a jigsaw puzzle together. Mom's Tip #230: Ask only that they try their best. Mom's Tip #231: Your son's wife will not be pretty enough. Mom's Tip #232: Your daughter's husband will not earn enough. Mom's Tip #233: When they have kids, they'll REALLY appreciate you. Mom's Tip #234: Grandchildren are for spoiling. Mom's Tip #235: Transfer old home movies to video. Mom's Tip #236: Make lemonade from real lemons. Mom's Tip #237: It's your duty to brag. Mom's Tip #238: Point out that your granddaughter has your eyes. Mom's Tip #239: Be sure to mention that your grandson has your smile. Mom's Tip #240: Let your daughter think she's a better mother than you. Mom's Tip #241: When daughter's in labor don't say "Now you know.". Mom's Tip #242: Teenage daughters are hazardous to your health. Mom's Tip #243: Teenage sons are hazardous to their own health. Mom's Tip #244: How long CAN you put off the birds and bees lecture? Mom's Tip #245: How many times can you rewrite your will? Mom's Tip #246: Never buy retail. Mom's Tip #247: Cheer when they get their driver's licenses. Mom's Tip #248: Smile when they squash your Chevy. Mom's Tip #249: Send a care package to college. Mom's Tip #250: Resist the impulse to clean their dorm rooms. Mom's Tip #251: If they become Ivy Leaguers it's because of YOUR genes. Mom's Tip #252: If they're going to State, it's because of Dad's genes. Mom's Tip #253: Teach them to swim early. Mom's Tip #254: Insist on bike helmets. Mom's Tip #255: Learn CPR. Mom's Tip #256: Take them to the circus. Mom's Tip #257: Send an apple for the teacher. Mom's Tip #258: No blue hair. Mom's Tip #259: Remind them when it's your silver anniversary. Mom's Tip #260: Forbid them to put you in a nursing home. Mom's Tip #261: Threaten to haunt them from beyond the grave. Mom's Tip #262: Ask them for advice once in a while. Mom's Tip #263: Look humble when they say "How'd you do it, Mom?" Mom's Tip #264: Pass along your wedding dress to your daughter. Mom's Tip #265: Give Snickers at Halloween. Mom's Tip #266: Remember the names of their stuffed animals. Mom's Tip #267: Watch all the Peanuts TV specials. Mom's Tip #268: Buy industrial-size detergent boxes. Mom's Tip #269: Learn to say "Watch out!" with feeling. Mom's Tip #270: Buy them cool lunch boxes. Mom's Tip #271: Remain calm when you find your son's "Playboy". Mom's Tip #272: Remain calm when you find daughter's birth control. Mom's Tip #273: Your daughter's house will never be as clean as yours. Mom's Tip #274: Dance a tango at your child's wedding. Mom's Tip #275: Reminisce. Mom's Tip #276: Make their Halloween costumes. Mom's Tip #277: Play Scrabble with them. Mom's Tip #278: Play cards with them. Mom's Tip #279: Good news and bad: Anything can be a toy. Mom's Tip #280: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're walking. Mom's Tip #281: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're talking. Mom's Tip #282: Good news and bad: Before you know it they're in college. Mom's Tip #283: Keep a first-aid kit handy. Mom's Tip #284: You and Dad need a "Date Night". Mom's Tip #285: Let them make their own sundaes. Mom's Tip #286: Don't show their dates naked baby pictures. Mom's Tip #287: Traditions are important. Mom's Tip #288: Don't forget, each new kid is a tax deduction. Mom's Tip #289: Teach them to love libraries. Mom's Tip #290: Help start a stamp collection. Mom's Tip #291: Give pennies for piggy banks. Mom's Tip #292: Learn to love Trolls. Mom's Tip #293: Pray for a chicken pox vaccine. Mom's Tip #294: Don't insist on combing your daughter's hair in public. Mom's Tip #295: Try to get some breakfast in them. Mom's Tip #296: Ice cream still solves most problems. Mom's Tip #297: You can't praise a kid too much. Mom's Tip #298: Buy them a good dictionary. Mom's Tip #299: Let them have an aquarium. Mom's Tip #300: Shiny thing in driveway is your kid's new retainer. Mom's Tip #301: Always look before sitting. Mom's Tip #302: Have a snowball fight. Mom's Tip #303: Hold hands while crossing. Mom's Tip #304: Let them visit where you work. Mom's Tip #305: No matter what, they'll bring home colds from school. Mom's Tip #306: Remember what happened to Joan Crawford. Mom's Tip #307: Don't weep when the school bus takes them away. Mom's Tip #308: Attend school plays. Mom's Tip #309: Don't yell at Little League umpires. Mom's Tip #310: Junior High is traumatic. Mom's Tip #311: Everyone tries to get out of gym class. Mom's Tip #312: Before disciplining -- decompress. Mom's Tip #313: They'll outgrow their shoes before the laces get dirty. Mom's Tip #314: Let them play dress up. Mom's Tip #315: Learn to throw a baseball. Mom's Tip #316: Learn to catch a boomerang. Mom's Tip #317: If they created it at camp, put it on display. Mom's Tip #318: Food fights happen. Mom's Tip #319: Get washable wallpaper. Mom's Tip #320: Don't let them call you by your first name. Mom's Tip #321: They DO look cutest when they're sleeping. Mom's Tip #322: Tell ghost stories. Mom's Tip #323: Kids love antiheroes. Mom's Tip #324: Remember how your mother felt about Mick Jagger. Mom's Tip #325: Celebrate Velcro! Mom's Tip #326: Record their singing. Mom's Tip #327: She's all grown up when she stretches your sweater. Mom's Tip #328: You know your son's grown up when he blushes. Mom's Tip #329: Hang a tire swing. Mom's Tip #330: They'll eat paper and dirt and survive. Mom's Tip #331: If all else fails, take them to the video arcade. Mom's Tip #332: Let them get their ears pierced. Mom's Tip #333: Monster truck rallies can be educational. Mom's Tip #334: Let them play cowboy. Mom's Tip #335: Discourage them from tying up the babysitter. Mom's Tip #336: Don't hold up other people's children as role models. Mom's Tip #337: When they fall asleep in the stroller, don't move them. Mom's Tip #338: Show them photos of yourself as a child. Mom's Tip #339: Let's hear it for stereo headphones. Mom's Tip #340: Cartoons are a good way to learn classical music. Mom's Tip #341: Don't kiss teens in front of their friends. Mom's Tip #342: No credit cards until they graduate. Mom's Tip #343: Check before believing Dad said it was okay. Mom's Tip #344: Murphy's Law is true. Mom's Tip #345: Feel free to remind them of your labor pains. Mom's Tip #346: Sometimes you'll have to tell little white lies. Mom's Tip #347: Remember that you used Cliff Notes too. Mom's Tip #348: At least comic books mean they're reading. Mom's Tip #349: Disposable diapers are worth the guilt. Mom's Tip #350: Don't buy infant clothes without snaps. Mom's Tip #351: Clothes that fit just right are too small. Mom's Tip #352: Everybody's a critic. Mom's Tip #353: Get call waiting. Mom's Tip #354: If you have teenagers, get your own phone. Mom's Tip #355: You know more about chaos theory than most physicists. Mom's Tip #356: Grass stains are Mother Nature's way of saying "Hi". Mom's Tip #357: Nervous breakdowns -- Nature saying "Take it easy.". Mom's Tip #358: Arrange to sleep in at least once a month. Mom's Tip #359: Know when enough is enough. Mom's Tip #360: Don't mention their zits. Mom's Tip #361: When technology is ready, clone yourself. Mom's Tip #362: Let your daughter wear your high heels. Mom's Tip #363: Admire your son's mustache even if you can't see it. Mom's Tip #364: Discourage grown kid's from writing a tell-all book. Mom's Tip #365: You'll never stop wondering if you did a good job. |
