The following are answers given by elementary school-age children to
various questions about their Mom:
Why did God make mothers?
How did God make mothers?
- She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
- Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
- Mostly to clean the house.
- To help us out of there when we were getting born.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
- He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
- Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
- God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
- We are related.
- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms
What kind of little girl was your mom?
- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
- They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they
mostly use string. I think.
How did your mom meet your dad?
- My mom has always been my mom and none of that other
- I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would
be pretty bossy.
- They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
- Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.
Why did your mom marry your dad?
- His last name.
- She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did
he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
What makes a real woman?
- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom
eats a lot.
- She got too old to do anything else with him.
- My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
- It means you have to be really bossy without looking
What's the difference between moms and dads?
- Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad
is such a goofball.
- Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff
under the bed.
- I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do
What does your mom do in her spare time?
- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just work at
- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
- Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real
power because that's who you have to ask if you want to
sleep over at your friend's.
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
- Mothers don't have spare time.
- To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
Describe the world's greatest mom?
- About 30 years.
- You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes
moms don't even have bread on them.
Is anything about your mom perfect?
- She would be able to make broccoli taste like ice cream.
- The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my
- She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
- Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the
- Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
- Just her children.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
- On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think
some kind of plastic surgery.
- Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
- She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I'd get rid of that.
- I'd make my mom smarter -- then she would know my sister
did it and not me.
[ From: 'Sermon Fodder' (www.sermonfodder.com) and 'Good Clean Funies List' (www.gcfl.net) ]
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