My Moment For Finding Faith
It began in 1980, the lowest period of my entire life!
My marriage and my family were blowing up all around
me; I surely didn't want it to happen, but I was
powerless to change the course. At my lowest ebb,
I even attempted suicide once (drove my car at 80mph
-- with no seat belt -- and headed for a tree . . .
forgetting that the slight ditch 'twixt me and the
tree would change my course ever so slightly, such
that I witnessed a tree rushing by my window at
probably 70mph . . . and me stuck in a muddy field!
I look back on that moment and realize that God must
have intervened because he had other uses for me
on this earth. But I digress . . .
It was a particularly devastating time in my life.
I had left my own home to live in an apartment with
my then 10-year-old son (who would just have been
in the way of his Mother's new-found life-style)!
Every day I mourned my fate, having lost my wife,
my family, and my home! I was more financially
strapped than I'd ever imagined possible. I had
to pay the mortgage on the home my wife and her
new "friend" were living in, for the car that she
was still driving, child support and alimony,
and now also rent on the apartment and living
expenses for my son and myself. On top of it
all, I was now a single parent, having to put
meals on the table, look after my son's medical
needs, jockeying my son hither, tither, and yon,
and all the other domestic chores.
Well, one night when I hit the hay, I sat on
the edge of my bed and "talked to God" (which
is what I did in lieu of formal praying). And
I only got the name "God" out of my mouth when
I began crying . . . real hard! And yes, I
was raised in the 50's, when we learned that
men just do not cry! I hadn't cried since
burying the last of my grandparents. But
here I was, unable to speak to God Himself
because I was blubbering like a fool! Well,
eventually I did recover enough to continue
my talk with God.
"God, You know the misery I am going through
right now. The fact that I mourn those things
most precious to me in this life . . . my
wife, my family, and my home. Because
of that, I'm not doing very well. But on
top of that I've got bills that there's just
no way I can cover! And I alone am now
responsible for raising my son. Add to that
the fact that I've been abandoned by my
daughter (who had "sided" with Mommy in this
"Well, God, I'm here to tell you that I just
can't take it anymore! I'm asking You, I'm
begging You ... PLEASE ... step in and carry
the load for just a little while so that I
I wish I could tell you that Angels
appeared out of nowhere to comfort me.
Or that I was actually able to SEE God.
But, no such thing. Do you want to know
what happened next? I laid down and went
to sleep! And I had the very best sleep
I'd had since my nightmare had begun maybe
six months ago!
When I woke up in the morning I somehow
realized the help that I'd asked God to
give me. And I was able to just shrug
my shoulders at the absence of my wife
and my daughter, the pile of bills just
sitting there waiting to be paid, and
my son, calling for my attention!
Somehow I knew these things would be
"taken care of," one way or another,
in God's way and God's time!
And that, my friend, is Faith!
Addendum -- 1 Peter 5:7 "Give
all your worries and
cares to God, for he cares
about what happens to you."
[ Jim Graf -- from 'Motivational Mailer' ]
All Rights Reserved.