After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching
"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with
all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.
And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify
their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor
their T shirt messages and dress habits.
You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check
their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self
esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship,
sportsmanship, and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to
balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their heads
for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of antisocial
behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student
employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity
of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure that I give the girls in my class
50 percent of my attention.
My contract requires me to work on my own time after school and evenings
grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense,
working toward advance certification and a Master's degree. And on my own
time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings,
and participate in staff development training. I am to be a paragon of
virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students
into being obedient and respectful of authority. And I am to pledge
allegiance to family values and this current administration.
You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor
web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding
who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in
school. I am to make sure all students pass the state mandatory exams, even
those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their
assignments. Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with
handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental
or physical handicap. And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by
letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books,
a bulletin board, and a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies
my family for food stamps!
You want me to do all of this, and you expect me NOT TO PRAY?"
[ Author Unknown -- submitted by: Queenie -- from 'Arizona Humor' ]
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