Ten Things To Improve Your Relationship

  1. Always make time to talk about how your day went. Even ten or fifteen minutes spent in conversation can help the two of you stay in touch and feel closer.

  2. Understand that there IS such thing as a good argument. As long as honest feelings were expressed and eventually understood, and as long as there was some conclusion where both partners believed that something was accomplished, then you had a successful argument. Extremely abusive language, sustained hostility, or open threats are NOT part of a good argument.

  3. Don't forget to maintain the "little courtesies", such as saying "please" and "thank you" and generally showing respect and recognition for everyday things.

  4. Never rely on your partner (or anyone else) to make you happy. Only you can do that.

  5. Do not assume that your partner will automatically know what your feelings, needs, wants, and preferences are, or what mood you are in.

  6. In a healthy relationship, both partners are always growing and improving. Healthy relationships should bring out the best in us. They should inspire, motivate, and enhance our creativity and well-being.

  7. Learn how to accept the natural ups and downs of a relationship. Nothing is perfect, and love will always be accompanied by a certain amount of hurt, tension, frustration, misunderstanding and jealousy.

  8. Recognize some of the differences between males and females. MEN: Women enjoy conversation, communicating in groups, and expressing detail verbally. Men enjoy variety, respond well to good-natured challenge, and place a high value on personal space and privacy.

  9. Every relationship can benefit from a periodic change of pace. Try a new restaurant. Take a trip to a nearby location chosen at random. Rent a hotel room even if you have privacy at home. Experiment with fantasy. Learn how to be playfully unpredictable. Creativity will keep a relationship fresh.

  10. Give yourself reinforcement after you have successfully tried one of the techniques to improve your relationship, even if the outcome was not exactly what you wanted. It is very important to be "self-rewarding."

[ Fred L. Holtz, PhD -- from 'Love Quotes' ]


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