Then Iíll Be Happy

For a good part of my life I suffered from a disease. This disease dampened my spirits, drained me of my energy, and robbed me of my vitality. Sometimes it even made it hard to get out of bed in the morning. It made every part of my life more difficult and demanding. For a while too it looked like this disease would be a weight I would have to carry for the rest of my life. This disease was called, "And then Iíll be happy."

I think I first caught it in middle school. During my younger years I seemed to always enjoy the moment and relish each day of my life. At some point during those middle school years, however, I remember starting to look to the future more and more and enjoying today less and less. At first I thought getting into high school and being a teenager would make me happy. Then the dream switched to being the high school football star. That was followed by being on my own in college. Next came having a great career and high paying job. Getting rich and having that big house followed it. After that was the dream of raising a family. Then there was retiring and finally enjoying my life. Each dream postponed my happiness a little further down the road. Finally I realized that if I kept going this way, I would be dead before I was happy.

That is when I came to see that it would be a lot better to be happy now than to live with this disease. Life I knew would always have fresh problems and frustrations, but I thought it would be a lot better to meet them with a happy heart and loving soul rather than waiting for life to be perfect. These days I am in remission. I still have occasional flare ups of "And then Iíll be happy," but I heal them by knowing that I can choose love and joy every second of my life.

God loves us all so much and wants us to be happy today, tomorrow, and forever. Letís not let Him down. Letís choose love, share joy, and spread happiness with every moment we have.

~ Joseph J. Mazzella ~

[ by: Joseph J. Mazzella Copyright © 2009 ( -- submitted by: Joseph Mazzella ]

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