I hold my Bible in my Lap

Afraid to look inside.

After many years of doing right

Part of me has died.

I believed in the impossible

Even though it never came true.

I told myself Be strong in God

He believes in you.

Guard your heart, protect your mind.

The truth is always there to find.

Walk the talk, stay the path-

Avoid the evil, fear the wrath.

I prayed, I read, and fasted too.

Everyday the Lord I knew.



And then one day I realized

I did it all for nought….

For no matter what I believed

I lost every battle fought.

It didn’t matter what the Bible said

Cuz “free will” really reigns….

And that gets me everytime

Driving me insane.



Every door I walk up too

Gets shut right in my face.

Reminding me where I belong-

Put back in my place.

My “free will” gave me to God

He didn’t pick me on his own.

Just like with my mom and my husband

That’s all I’ve ever known.



Just once I’d like to be chosen

And loved for who I am.

Appreciated for my heart my life

My caring of the lamb.

I’d like for God to look at me

And know I’m worthy too.

Just once I’d like him to fight for me

And make a promise come true.



I hold my Bible in my lap

My faith all broke apart.

Jesus… will you notice me

And love me for a start?


~ Tammi Jo ~

[ by: Tammi Jo, Copyright © 2006 (tmercer@indep.k12.mo.us) -- submitted by: Tammi Jo ]