Dear God:  What Now?

Dear God:

I'm scared.  It feels as though I have done one thing my entire life and that is to be a wife and mother.  OK, technically, that's two things, but thankfully, You know what I mean!  Now that my children are half grown, I find that I have so much extra time on my hands. So much time that I am checking my watch by the end of the day impatiently waiting for the kids to get off of the school bus!  I have loved, hugged, bathed, doctored, diapered, played, tied, baked, volunteered, and taxied--all sorts of things!  None of which would gleam on any resume!

I'm scared, God.  What do I do now that they don't want me to play house or need me to read them a story? What do I do now that they turn to best friends for affirmation, consolation, and affection?  What do I do now that it's not cool to play catch with mom anymore?

I'm scared, God.  Now where do I get my validation?  I have been blessed to have been afforded opportunity to stay home and raise my children for the last 14 years.  I am so thankful and would not change my decision for one minute.  But it seems that my job is only part-time now. I can remember wanting time and complaining that there was never any time for ME!  Days were filled with tending to scraped knees, changing diapers, baking cookies, watching Sesame Street, and going to play group or the grocery store.  Oh, Lord, how I long to have one daughter in the shopping cart, holding my son on my hip, and my eldest daughter trailing behind asking, "Can we get Oreos, mommy, pleeeease?" And while my children will always need me, their demand for my time continues to diminish.

I'm scared, God.  Please help me to trust You. Help me to trust that You know exactly what You have in store for me.  Help me to trust and know that it is good, and that it is Your will.  Help me to know that just around the corner waits the perfect "job" that demands love and dedication.  Help me to know that whatever you have for me next will provide the joy and fulfillment that goes with the full-time position of mothering little ones.

I'm scared, God.  I want others to see the value of my dedication to my "job." Is being devoted to my family for 14 years any different than showing up to the same office every day?  I see longevity.  I see never calling in sick.  I see sacrifice.  I see multitasking.  I see mentoring. I see tenacity.  I see a lot of things, and I know You see them too, Lord!

Thank You, God!  You have revealed my validation! By working for my family, I have been serving You, the executive of the universe!  You have been there with me in the wee hours of the morning, mopping up vomit, changing the bed-sheets, running a bath, rocking, and comforting.  You have seen it all, Lord.  You have been with me on the path and have carried me most of the way.  You know my limitations; yet, you know my strengths.

I am confident, God.  Still a little scared, but confident that as You have carried me through the mothering chapter in my life, You will continue to carry me through the next chapter--whatever that may be! You, the Most High, see my unique qualifications and have a plan for my future.  What better endorsement could I have? But one last thing, Lord, is it possible to provide me with a letter of recommendation?

Very Sincerely,
Sandy Ketchem

[ By: Sandy Ketchem, Copyright © 2006 (ketchemms@verizon.net) - submitted by: Sandy Ketchem ]