Dear God: What Now?
I'm scared. It feels as though I have done one thing my entire life
and that is to be a wife and mother. OK, technically, that's two
things, but thankfully, You know what I mean! Now that my children are
half grown, I find that I have so much extra time on my hands. So much
time that I am checking my watch by the end of the day impatiently
waiting for the kids to get off of the school bus! I have loved,
hugged, bathed, doctored, diapered, played, tied, baked, volunteered,
and taxied--all sorts of things! None of which would gleam on any
I'm scared, God. What do I do now that they don't want me to play
house or need me to read them a story? What do I do now that they turn
to best friends for affirmation, consolation, and affection? What do I
do now that it's not cool to play catch with mom anymore?
I'm scared, God. Now where do I get my validation? I have been
blessed to have been afforded opportunity to stay home and raise my
children for the last 14 years. I am so thankful and would not change
my decision for one minute. But it seems that my job is only part-time
now. I can remember wanting time and complaining that there was never
any time for ME! Days were filled with tending to scraped knees,
changing diapers, baking cookies, watching Sesame Street, and going to
play group or the grocery store. Oh, Lord, how I long to have one
daughter in the shopping cart, holding my son on my hip, and my eldest
daughter trailing behind asking, "Can we get Oreos, mommy, pleeeease?"
And while my children will always need me, their demand for my time
continues to diminish.
I'm scared, God. Please help me to trust You. Help me to trust that
You know exactly what You have in store for me. Help me to trust and
know that it is good, and that it is Your will. Help me to know that
just around the corner waits the perfect "job" that demands love and
dedication. Help me to know that whatever you have for me next will
provide the joy and fulfillment that goes with the full-time position
of mothering little ones.
I'm scared, God. I want others to see the value of my dedication to my
"job." Is being devoted to my family for 14 years any different than
showing up to the same office every day? I see longevity. I see never
calling in sick. I see sacrifice. I see multitasking. I see
mentoring. I see tenacity. I see a lot of things, and I know You see
them too, Lord!
Thank You, God! You have revealed my validation! By working for my
family, I have been serving You, the executive of the universe! You
have been there with me in the wee hours of the morning, mopping up
vomit, changing the bed-sheets, running a bath, rocking, and
comforting. You have seen it all, Lord. You have been with me on the
path and have carried me most of the way. You know my limitations;
yet, you know my strengths.
I am confident, God. Still a little scared, but confident that as You
have carried me through the mothering chapter in my life, You will
continue to carry me through the next chapter--whatever that may be!
You, the Most High, see my unique qualifications and have a plan for my
future. What better endorsement could I have? But one last thing,
Lord, is it possible to provide me with a letter of recommendation?
[ By: Sandy Ketchem, Copyright © 2006 (firstname.lastname@example.org) - submitted by: Sandy Ketchem ]
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