The Little Messenger
With tears flowing down her cheeks, my youngest daughter said, "Mom,
I'm pregnant." My first reaction was silence. My second was
immobility. My third was crying and my last reaction was
screaming, "I can't believe you did this!" I was raised in a
Christian family and had morals and values that despised the words
spoken from my daughter's lips. She was 15 years old. How was she
ever going to take care of a baby? What about school? Her whole
future was headed downhill as far as I was concerned. Quickly my
mind flooded with thoughts of ways to rid her and our family of the
situation she brought upon us. A single mom of two daughters, I
struggled for 10 long years after my divorce. "How could you?" I
For the first several days, I was in shock. I then contacted my
church and one of the pastors had a meeting with my daughter and I.
He suggested strongly that we give the baby up for adoption. Again
my daughter cried and cried. She said, "I can't give my baby up, I
can feel it moving inside. I don't want to go around wondering if
this child or that child is mine." I could understand her feelings
having had two children of my own, but she didn't understand how
drastically her life was about to change. She couldn't comprehend
how she was also changing my life and her sister's life. I felt she
got pregnant on purpose. I told the pastor to give us time to think
about all that he had said and told him I would get back with him.
We went to the first doctor appointment to see how far along she was
in her pregnancy. We thought she was about 8 weeks or so. She never
gained weight, no signs of pregnancy at all. Once again, I felt as
if someone hit me with a stun gun of 10,000 volts. The doctor told
us she was 7 months pregnant and we had little time to prepare. The
sonogram showed she was going to give birth to a baby girl. Somehow
all the anger, all the hurt, all the emotions involved seemed to
disappear. Adoption was now the farthest thing from our mind and I
felt as if God had a purpose for this baby. I believed it was meant
for us to raise this child, not another family, and that God would
provide and He did.
There was a huge baby shower thrown at work for me as the
Grandmother. Baby clothes, high chair, bed, stroller, bottles,
everything you could possibly need to get started and more were
received. We decided to come up with a name for this baby girl and
struggled with several names. I've always loved the name Gabrielle.
It is a derivative of Gabriel which means "messenger of God". My
daughter wanted the name, Destini. She said, "Because she is
destined to be." I thought about the full meaning, "Destined to be a
messenger of God" and loved it. And so, Destini Gabrielle was born
in January 2000.
Two years have passed and Destini was two years old this month. In
the short time she has been with us some "strange" things have
happened. When she first began to walk, she would go over to the
angel figurines I have and just stare, almost as if in a trance.
Then one day I was sitting at my desk and she was talking mostly baby
talk. I turned to look at her, when her eyes were focused in the air
as if she were talking to someone in the room. The chills swept over
me as I watched in awe, then she shook her little head and
said, "Yea!" and smiled. She stood staring for a few more seconds
and then went about her way. There were several of these occurrences
and I felt deep within my heart that she was really seeing something
or someone. Time went on and she was learning more words, mostly
puppy and mama, nothing out of the ordinary.
Then came the day when I was cleaning my living room. I have a
picture of Jesus that hung on the wall in the back of the living room
that hardly anyone noticed because it was in the corner. I had taken
it down to wipe the walls down and Destini walked over to the picture
and stared that trance-like stare and out of the blue said, "Jesus."
I said, "What?" Again she said firmly, "Jesus." I said, "Yes,
that's right, that's Jesus!" This child never spoke that name, no
one has ever taught her that name, she could barely speak her own
little words, yet she knew. How I don't know, but she knew. When I
pondered all these things in my heart, the verse of Scripture came to
me, "Suffer not the these little ones to come to me, for the kingdom
of heaven belongs to such as these."
I cannot explain how she knew what she knew, nor can I explain the
conversations she had with someone I sincerely feel she saw. But I
do know that these two years have brought so much laughter, peace and
joy to our home, when there was nothing but arguing, lies, and deceit
before she was born. I have to believe with all my heart that it was
for this very purpose that we were suppose to keep her instead of
giving her up. Through this child, God has restored my own child to
me and He has restored our family. I thank God everyday for the
wonderful gift He has given us and I pray He continues to use Destini
Gabrielle to complete His purpose for the rest of her life for she is
His little messenger.
[ Maria Urso, copyright © 2002 (email@example.com) -- from '2THEHEART' ]
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