Why Men Can't Win

• If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
  If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
  
  
• If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
  If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
  
  
• If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
  If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
  
  
• If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
  If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
  
  
• If you cry, you're a wimp.
  If you don't, you're insensitive.
  
  
• If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
  If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
  
  
• If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
  If she asks you, it's a favor.
  
  
• If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
  If you don't, you're a slob.
  
  
• If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
  If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
  
  
• If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
  If you're not, you're not ambitious.
  
  
• If she has a headache, she's tired.
  If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' ]